Ain't
it boggarific?
Tuesday
February 7, 2006 11:46p
I'm
trying out a new blog engine. Just click anywhere in this
post or in the title and check it out. Depending on how it
goes there may be some site revamping to happen... Read the
new blog. I already explained more there and I want to go
lay down. That's right, I said it...
diggity.
WARNING:
Guitar Geek talk ahead
Monday
February 6, 2006 11:46p
I am attempting brevity this evening;
we’ll see how I do.
I
have been told that Prince was the musical gust on Saturday
Night Live this past Saturday and he tore it up. I didn’t
see it, I was out seeing a pretty cool local band, Ripplegroove.
If anyone recorded the show (Saturday Night Live, that is)
I would love to see it. I looked around online but could not
find it in my perfunctory searches.
I took my Mesa Nomad guitar amp in
to a shop to get repaired. It blew up a little while ago.
I really miss it, plus I really want it back as I ramp up
towards playing live again. The shop was out in College area
so since I was out East I stopped by Guitar Center (dis-affectionately
known as Banjo Center from here on out...). I wanted to check
out the Music Man John Petrucci model guitar. I have an Ernie
Ball Music Man Silhouette which I really dig and have been
reading all sorts of good things about the Petrucci model.
I wanted to compare it against my Silhouette (and my new Parker
Fly – which I also really dig) to see how it stacked
up. It was a very nice guitar but after spending 15 or so
minutes with it I can say with confidence that it is no better
then my Silhouette, which is cool, since I really like my
Silhouette. Plus the last thing I need to do is figure out
how to spend $1100 on a new guitar (my Silhouette was $950
almost 15 years ago, in case you were wondering…). One
angle the Petrucci guitar has going for it is a piezo pickup
in the bridge for a pretty damn decent electric-acoustic guitar
sound. So now I am planning on installing a piezo system in
my Parker Fly. Eventually. Maybe with some tax return money,
after I pay back Brian for the golf tournament and snow board
trip, of course. If nothing else the whole experience reminded
of how much I dislike going into Banjo Center. Too many schmucks,
too many kids trying to impress all the other kids in the
store, too many salespeople that think they know what they’re
talking about. Although this time the dude that helped me
out was pretty cool and didn’t try to lay the heavy
sales trip on me, so that was a nice change. I only go to
Banjo Center anyway because they have just about everything
so I can get some hands on time with the gear and then leave
and either buy it from a local shop or online. So I suppose
Banjo Center serves a purpose, you just have to deal with
some crap to make it useful. Oh yeah.
I’ve been looking at ads online
(mostly the Reader online) and have actually found a few bands
looking for guitar players. Most have websites with sample
songs. I haven’t really dug what I’ve found so
far, so I have to decide if it’s more important to me
to get into a band and get some playing in or hold out for
something that I actually can see myself getting into musically.
The unfortunate thing is that I have found a few guys with
some cool stuff, but it’s just single guys looking for
others, like a bass player looking to start a band. I don’t
know if I want to start from the ground up with someone else’s
vision. I think if I’m going to really start from scratch
I might want to be selfish and make it my project, not join
into someone else’s, but we’ll see. I’m
just happy that I’ve found some opportunities; even
if it does end up that I’m not the right guy for them.
All I can do is try. I figure as soon as I get my Mesa back
and have my real rig ready to go I’ll start making some
calls and meeting some folks. I figure I should wait until
I have my real rig so I can make the best first impression.
All right, I almost kept it brief.
I am gonna sign off now. Futurama’s on and I gotta get
and go back to work tomorrow morning after these last two
days off. Y’all keep it real. But seriously, if you
have the Prince performances on Saturday Night live on tape
(or DVR…) let me know. I want ot see it.
Awight,
late.
12
months do a year make
Thursday
February 2, 2006 11:14p
Well,
it was one year ago today that Craig was killed. In many ways
it has gotten easier to think about and in many ways it’s
just as difficult to think about as it was a year ago. I can
tell you this with complete conviction; the past twelve months
were absolutely not what I had imagined they would be as we
turned the corner into the decidedly fateful year of two thousand
and five.
I
have learned many things this past year. I’ve learned
that your extended family of friends is just as important to
you and your well being as your biological family. I’ve
learned how amazingly strong some of those people can be. I’ve
learned that apparently I care about my job more than I thought
I did. And I have reaffirmed my belief that life is too short
and too precious to take anything for granted.
While
I feel that it is important to remember the past there is also
danger in dwelling on the past. I have tried to live my life
in the belief that if I have no control over a situation then
it’s a waste of time and emotional energy to dwell on
such things. That is the main reason I don’t watch the
news. The modern and sensationalistic news media is obsessed
with tragedy and disaster. I can sympathize for the families
of a plane crash or the victims of a seemingly senseless shooting,
but what benefit is there in the constant retelling of the same
tragedies night after night? The entertainment media seem to
expend an amazing amount of money and energy inflating celebrities
solely for the satisfaction of sensationalizing the gory details
of their failures and eventual downfall from the public eye.
I hate reality shows. Why should I watch people I don’t
know fight and argue on TV? For me there is no enjoyment in
the pain of others. I have even found as I’ve gotten older
that there are movies and programs that I have seen and enjoy
that I will turn off as uncomfortable scenes approach. Dead
Poet Society is one of my favorite movies of all time but I
have great difficulty watching the last half hour of the film.
I’ve come to realize that there is enough tragedy and
negativity in my real life that I have no interest in reliving
such things in the fantasy world. That being said, I have also
learned that it is far easier for me to watch emotionally challenging
films or TV shows with other people. I don’t know if it’s
a macho thing and I don’t allow myself to fully engage
when I am with other people, I am still learning about that
aspect of myself. If I figure it out I’ll let you know.
All I will say is that if I’m in the right frame of mind
and space even a freakin’ sitcom like That 70s Show can
choke me up. Oy…
What
was I saying? Oh yes, don’t dwell on the past. There are
lessons to be learned, there is respect to be paid and there
are people who should never be forgotten. But we live a temporal
existence and life is about moving forward. If you focus too
much of your energy on past events, especially negative events,
then you flavor your future days with an unfair negative bent.
Life deserves more than that from you. There is also danger
of dwelling on the positive things in the past. If you believe
that your senior year of high school was the best year of your
life then subconsciously you are setting yourself up for future
failure and disappointment. There is of course also the very
real danger of always looking to the future and taking for granted
what is happening in the present. There is a delicate balance
that must be attained. Towards that end I believe that if you
focus on the present and live the best way that you know how
then the future will be positive and rewarding by the very nature
of such actions. Yes, that sounds somewhat naïve and a
little “new age-y” but I think such attitudes can
be successfully applied to a modern, pragmatic and realist lifestyle.
In many ways I believe that it is tied in with my belief that
“man” is fundamentally good. I believe that I should
be kind and do well by myself and others simply because it is
the right thing to do. In living this way the world is a better
place and I will benefit by having a happier life and setting
myself up for future success. But I don’t feel it is my
duty be a proper and righteous person because that is what society
or my chosen deity deems fit for me to be. I also do not have
an agenda. I am not compelled to act proper because that is
how to succeed in life, how the game is played, so to speak.
It is possible to be an amazingly strong and powerful person
without really doing anything that is outwardly amazing or powerful.
I have no choice at the moment but to believe their facts, but
a good example of what I’m saying can be found in a recent
“Truth” anti-tobacco company ad which states:
A
tobacco company once gave $125,000 worth of food to a charity,
according to an estimate by The Wall Street Journal. Then they
spent well over $21 million telling people about it. I guess,
when you sell a deadly, addictive product, you need all the
good PR you can get.
If
the motive is misguided can such a “good deed” benefit
the benefactor? I suppose in this instance the tobacco company
took that into their own hands (and checkbooks.). A wise man
is reported to have said that pride is a sin. While I consider
that to be somewhat of a blanket statement (which has been used
as a copout by far too many people through the centuries) I
do sympathize with the intent. And since the last thing I want
is to start a religious debate…
Perhaps
one of my problems is that I haven’t been in a band in
a loooooooooooooong time. I have played with some folks out
here on the left coast. I was even almost in a real project
with Tamara back many a year ago (remember her? Good times…)
but I haven’t been in a real “band” with a
free and emotionally charged exchange of musical energies in
over a decade. I do make plenty of music-type noises all by
my lonesome and there is a an emotional release but it’s
not the same as sharing an almost mystical moment with a group
of people who know each other so well as to be on the same psychic
wavelength, if even only for a few moments. Maybe that’s
why I’m not in a relationship, I haven’t found someone
that can compete with a good band… well, that may be stretching
it a bit… but it’s something to think about…
maybe I need to find a woman that plays a mean bass… anyone…?
Anyways……………
Like
I mentioned I have learned that life is too precious to take
for granted. It can be a challenge sometimes but I really try
to live by that doctrine. How can you truly appreciate what
you have if you aren’t thankful for having it? That is
also an aspect of loss that can be positive and provide growth.
When you know longer have something in your life, especially
something as precious as a friend or loved one then it gives
you cause to stop and reflect and what you do have. It is in
these situations that you realize what truly matters in your
life. It’s important to fully embrace the important things
in life. The challenge is in not slipping back into complacency.
I like the idea of seeing life through the eyes of a child,
everyday is a brand new day full of amazing experiences and
wonder. It is all a matter of perspective. If you have ever
created something and then sat by as you displayed the fruits
of your labor to a peer then you have experienced this experience,
seeing yourself through the eyes of another, in a manner of
speaking. I can listen to my own music all day long and be intimately
familiar with every note and pause, but the first time I sit
and listen to a new song with someone else it’s suddenly
a brand new song. I suddenly hear things and really feel things
that I never heard or felt before. It is an amazing experience,
and be quite humbling in the right circumstances. The irony
is that the more you focus on something the more you tend to
lose sight of it. It’s the ‘ole forest for the trees
thing. You are so obsessed with the details of the bark and
the vein patterns on the leaves of the knotty pine that you
completely lose perspective and lose the beauty of the whole
experience. I’ve worked for hours on a 15 second section
of a new song only to listen back afterwards and realize that
the flow of the song was completely ruined. It’s so easy
to get wrapped up in the minutiae of life that you completely
miss what is happening around you. Have you ever spent a few
hours in a grumpy mood raking leaves in the yard, frustrated
that you had to waste a valuable day off dealing with dead leaves
when you take a break and suddenly realize what a beautiful
and amazing fall day it was and that you almost missed it? Well,
I suppose you So Cal folk may not have had to worry about the
leaves, but I can tell you it happens all too easily. Take time
out to stop, close your eyes, take a deep breath and just live
the moment. Notice the clouds or enjoy the warm breeze. It’s
all about the details and it’s the little things in life
that make it all worth living.
Oh
boy, I have waxed on and on tonight. It felt right, so I hope
you weren’t bored or offended. I need to get into bed
before Adult Swim so I’ll leave with a few last words
for the end of this thought provoking and emotional anniversary
day.
In
Taoist terms as one travels “the way” and eventually
becomes truly enlightened he or she becomes a Sage. From the
Tao te Ching, Chapter 77:
A
Sage can keep giving
because there is no end to his wealth.
He acts without expectation,
succeeds without taking credit,
and doesn’t think that he is better
than anyone else.
Craig
was my boss, my friend and a true Sage and I miss him every
single day.
Peace.
toddley
Oh
look, free time...
Tuesday January 24, 2006 9:35p
So
apparently I picked a busy time to start blogging again. Since
I last uploaded an update I have been going like mad. I spent
four days in Northern Cali snowboarding at Mammoth Mountain.
Then as soon as I got home I hung out with buddies from MI (Scott
and John, wassup!) for a long weekend and some more. Then it
was diving head first back into madness at work. At least it
helps the day go by, I suppose. Most days there aren’t
enough hours in the day these days. The word day occurred far
too many times in that last sentence… anyway…
Yes,
too busy at work. In fact I managed to barely escape a fairly
substantial faux pas, so to speak. For those who may not know,
at the World we host special corporate events all winter long
and if the client wants to pony up the extra cash they can get
a fireworks show, shot from Mission Bay. It is my responsibility
to arrange for the pyro company (Fireworks America) to do the
show. Yesterday just before lunch I got a call to confirm that
the fireworks were all ready to go for that night… I didn’t
know about a fireworks show… uh oh… I got a hold
of Fireworks America and after a few tense hours they were able
to make last minute arrangements for permits and operators and
there was a fireworks show last night. They saved my arse, I
tell you what. I HATE it when I screw up like that. I had absolutely
no excuse, I just missed it. Oy…
So
aside from my failures of late it’s been pretty darned
busy. From what I understand there has been a decision made
and the position has been offered for my new Supervisor, so
if all goes well I will soon have a boss who can take some of
the projects and tasks that I probably really shouldn’t
be doing anyway. I hope so, I could use the help.
Musically
I am once again in somewhat of a lull, but I can feel the need
percolating very near the surface. I don’t know how much
new music I will end up working on in the near future but I
am definitely feeling the need to perform. I really want to
get into a band of some sort, whether it’s a group I assemble
or a group I join as a guitarist, if such a thing as a band
needed a guitarist can be found. I am excited about the prospect
of some long distance song writing. Scott, John and I have vowed
to send files back and forth across the country thanks to the
marvel that is broadband internet. We can get stuff together
and send files off to each other to add and contribute some
interesting bits. I think there is great potential and it should
be pretty cool. Of course I have a serious project that I need
to continue working on. I am creating a jungle themed version
of the Wedding March for my sister Kim’s wedding in March.
I have some ideas but I have yet to get anything for real down
on “tape”. Beyond that I still have the “Caged
Voltage” project sitting in the back of my musical transom.
It’s a rock symphony about an electrified monkey. I have
an overture and a basic idea of what I want to do but I want
to make sure that I attack it seriously and give it the attention
I feel it deserves. I also want to do a collection of 18th and
19th century traditional Scottish tunes done in a modern rock
band style. I did some fife and drum tunes way back in the day
that people seemed to like and I really want to revisit the
concept and see it through as a complete and fully produced
project. We shall see. At least I have some things to keep me
busy for the rest of the year… and most likely beyond…
for a few days, anyway.
New
Beginnings
Saturday January 14, 2006 10:10p
I
figured I'd start out the new year with a good website update
and a fresh approach at the 'ole Daily Journal. I am hoping
that by simplifying the process I will be more likely to make
posts and keep up with it. We shall see, yes. We shall see.
My
life is going fairly well, i would say. I am very happy and
excited about the newest collection of tunes, the new "album"
as it were. I have decided that while I want to share the music
that I create with the world, in the end I am making music that
I like to listen for me to listen to. I am finding that I am
still listening to the new songs a lot. Petty much every day
I listen to several of the tracks, if nothing else in the car
on the way to work. I am inching closer and closer to putting
together my own group. What I am not so sure about is whether
or not I want a real singer or if I want to try the whole singer
frontman thing on my own. I am liking the idea of following
in the footsteps of other guitairsts and forming groups with
actual good singers, like Jeff beck finding Rod Stewart, or
Ritchie Blackmore and the various singers in Rainbow, most noteably
Ronnie James Dio. I realize the blasphemous nature of comparing
myself to these legendary guitar players, I am merely using
them as a point of reference, not trying to say that I am anywhere
in their league as a player or a person. But enough of that...
I
just realized that I flaked tonight on a buddy of mine, Mel.
His band Audio-Out
played at a joint called the Hot Monkey Love Cafe and I
got so wrapped up in this website business that I completely
forgot to go. I'm bummed out, I wanted to see them and show
support. I only hope that there was a good turnout of SeaWorld
folk to vill the void. Sorry Mel (and Matt and Scott).
Well,
I think that's where I'll stop tonight. Besides I put in the
film
Being Human (starring Robin
Williams with music by Philip Glass) to have something in the
background (because TV sucks and I'm trying not to watch too
much TV anyway) and now I'm getting sucked in and distracted.
It's a good film, I recommend it. So, since I seem to be watching
the film more than coding web pages I think i'll stop and start
uploading. I'll be back soon...